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It's been 3 whole days since I started my "new" life course. I feel like I've been beaten to a pulp from the physical exercise, but I actually feel good. I didn't realize only 3 days of exercise would already increase my stamina and make me want to do more. The water exercise really kicks tail (figuratively and literally) and because of injuries, I had forgotten what good workout felt like. The first day, I started cramping up when I got home because I made the mistake of not drinking enough water through my workout or after it. Once somebody clued me in on that, increased fluid and guess what? The cramps stopped. So...the workout part is going well. I even got enough exercise in the pool to raise and sustain a higher heart rate and tired myself out!
Now...on to the food part. Working out has made me feel like I need to eat more, which is exactly the opposite of what I want to do, because if I want to lose serious weight, I have to cut serious calories. You don't get to be 368 lbs. by eating light (unless you eat massive quantities of light). I justified the overeating by saying that I needed the calories to keep going in my busy life, and that since they were good calories -- lean meats, good vegetables, low fat and whole grains -- I couldn't possibly gain weight eating them, even if I ate 3 chicken breasts at a time. Talk about delusional!!!! I have come to the realization that I literally have to account for everything I put in my mouth -- even my healthy foods, such as fruits and vegetables. Fruits and vegetables have calories, and I have to count them. Don't you just love the "net carbs" lie??? Just because it is fiber and they don't "count" it, they fool people into thinking that it's only the "net" carbs you have to worry about gaining weight on...do I have news for you: Carbs, no matter what form, have calories!!!! Also, how about the "diabetic" or low-sugar candies made with the sugar alcohols? You still have all those calories...no matter that they use a different form of sugar, carbs are all 4 calories a gram (to be exact), they just take longer to pass through and give you gas in the interim!
I guess even the food part of life has a common pattern -- consequences for all choices and actions. My choices led to my being so overweight that I was literally killing myself in fat. One hell of a consequence, huh? Now is just the beginning of the hard part, taking it off as slowly as I put it on. I have tried every diet under the sun and was referred for gastric bypass surgery because the issue of my weight is having dire consequences on my body, particularly since I work at a disadvantage because of the crushed ankle. I can't just say my pain is from the crushed ankle; I have to admit that the pain is from the crushed ankle trying to support this massive frame.
I hope and pray that I succeed at what I am trying to do, and will do updates on a regular basis so that anyone reading can see how the journey progresses. My ultimate goal is to be healthy, regardless of the number on the scale, and I feel like the direction in which I am going is correct. Maybe this journey will even inspire another person to truly give it a try and if it does, feel free to let me know or email me if you don't want to go public. I would love to have a support system in addition to my family, and if it will help even 1 other person, I want to do it.
Also, since I can now upload photos...here are some scary ones of me in a swimsuit (see above). My measurements at the time of these pictures were:
Neck 16.5
Hips 65
Waist 52.5
Calves 18.5
Thighs 28
Arms at Biceps 18.5
Chest 57.5
Weight 368.5
Height approxiately 5 feet 3 inches (not sure because of shortened leg)
BMI 64.3
Body Fat 64.3 %.
Shout out to my trainer, Tara, for helping me begin this journey and making me feel like a human being as she was working with me.
I hope all of you realize it takes real cojones to open myself up in this way! The next set of pictures will be taken in 6 months. I will have my measurements taken monthly and will post them as I go along. By making myself do this, I feel like I am accountable to more than just myself and hope that the motivation from going public will help with the journey.
